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Three a day. World satire, indie-builder satire, cosmic ennui, Burg life. Originals only — plus an XKCD daily for the road.
The Open 2026: golf updates from day one at Royal Birkdale –
A statement is forthcoming.
Ontario Wildfire Smoke Moves East
Gravity remains undefeated.
Mother says 9-year-old son is 'saving lives' after fatal I-9
Caroline Street continues.
Wednesday briefing
Sources confirm this is still, somehow, happening.
Heat Dome Broils the Western U.S
Gravity remains undefeated.
'He wasn't a stranger'
The cobblestones held firm.
Tuesday briefing
Analysts remain calm. Analysts are paid to remain calm.
Fans of the Arctic
This is normal, astronomically speaking.
Falling gas prices likely cut inflation last month but renew
Goolrick's is open.
Monday briefing
Sources confirm this is still, somehow, happening.
QAIAx Clinical Trial
The cosmos noted your concern and kept expanding.
moving to fredericksburg
Goolrick's is open.
World Cup 2026: reaction to England’s quarter-final win over
Analysts remain calm. Analysts are paid to remain calm.
For nearly five decades, psychologist Francine Patterson tau
The universe has filed no complaints.
Hot take w
The Rappahannock remains unbothered, as ever.
Trump administration rolls back a key protection for imperil
Analysts remain calm. Analysts are paid to remain calm.
SpaceX Falcon 9 rocket launches for 35th time, hauls Starlin
This is normal, astronomically speaking.
Trump threatens Iran after Ayatollah Ali Khamenei’s funeral
Goolrick's is open.
Australia news live
Sources confirm this is still, somehow, happening.
Where Venezuela’s Earthquakes Shifted the Ground
Gravity remains undefeated.
Community screenings help a movie set during an Indian insur
The cobblestones held firm.
U.S. launches new airstrikes on Iran and Tehran fires back a
Sources confirm this is still, somehow, happening.
Super Typhoon Bavi
Gravity remains undefeated.
Bf trying to find DnD friends!
The Rappahannock remains unbothered, as ever.
Search under way after Boeing 737 cargo plane goes missing o
Analysts remain calm. Analysts are paid to remain calm.
Cottonwood Fire Chars Utah
Gravity remains undefeated.
Prince William County supervisors reject massive data center
The cobblestones held firm.
Australia news live
A statement is forthcoming.
The World Cup From 250 Miles Up
Gravity remains undefeated.
Evening storms bring flood risk to DC region Monday
The cobblestones held firm.
Australia news live
Sources confirm this is still, somehow, happening.
An island of calm at the violent heart of the galaxy
The cosmos noted your concern and kept expanding.
England 3, Mexico 2
The Rappahannock remains unbothered, as ever.
NSW Labor toughens pokies stance as Sydney inner west mayor
A statement is forthcoming.
Planned 1.7 million satellites 'devastating' for astronomy
Gravity remains undefeated.
Alcantara sharp, Lopez homers to pace the Marlins past the A
The cobblestones held firm.
Cape Verde's historic World Cup ride ends after pushing Arge
Sources confirm this is still, somehow, happening.
How to find Uranus this week, the hardest planet I've ever t
The cosmos noted your concern and kept expanding.
NEED LPN for private home care in Fredericksburg Virginia
The Rappahannock remains unbothered, as ever.
Friday briefing
Sources confirm this is still, somehow, happening.
SpaceX Falcon 9 rocket launches 24 Starlink satellites from
This is normal, astronomically speaking.
Latin Mass, but faithful to the pope
The cobblestones held firm.
Russian missiles and drones kill 11 and cause damage across
Sources confirm this is still, somehow, happening.
LSST begins full operations with key contributions from Japa
The cosmos noted your concern and kept expanding.
Mitchell triples in the go-ahead run in the 7th in the Brewe
Caroline Street continues.
Wednesday briefing
Noted. Filed. Forgotten by Thursday.
Cosmic eruption caught in the act by submillimeter array's n
Gravity remains undefeated.
Writer E. Jean Carroll calls for Trump to pay $5.8M after hi
Goolrick's is open.
Tuesday briefing
Sources confirm this is still, somehow, happening.
Australia politics live
Analysts remain calm. Analysts are paid to remain calm.
The rise of space AI might explain the Fermi paradox
Gravity remains undefeated.
Yo, other 46 States. Can we just expel these four and get al
Caroline Street continues.
Person dead, suspect on the run after shooting near VCU camp
Caroline Street continues.
Venezuela earthquakes
Sources confirm this is still, somehow, happening.
'Logan's Run' at 50
The cosmos noted your concern and kept expanding.
Colonial Downs holds first annual corgi race
Caroline Street continues.
Egypt 1-1 Iran: World Cup 2026 – live reaction
Sources confirm this is still, somehow, happening.
Uranus, Neptune may be magma worlds, not ice giants
The cosmos noted your concern and kept expanding.
Anyone else also having a hard time trying to find jobs, LIK
The cobblestones held firm.
UN agency pauses evacuation of ships through the Strait of H
Analysts remain calm. Analysts are paid to remain calm.
Watch live: Rocket Lab launching 'Ten Owl of Ten' mission fo
Gravity remains undefeated.
Twilight in Downtown kicks off this Wednesday
Goolrick's is open.
Victorian Liberal MP Matthew Guy denies accusation he assaul
Noted. Filed. Forgotten by Thursday.
A Turquoise Tint for the Black Sea
The universe has filed no complaints.
One Dead, One In Custody After Reported Shooting In Bragg Hi
The Rappahannock remains unbothered, as ever.
Europe heatwave live
Analysts remain calm. Analysts are paid to remain calm.
Australia politics live
Sources confirm this is still, somehow, happening.
NASA Names Sean Gallagher as Chief Information Officer
Gravity remains undefeated.
Curiosity Blog, Sols 4927
The universe has filed no complaints.
Looking for new friends!
The cobblestones held firm.
Congressional candidates Boafo and McClain Delaney win prima
The Rappahannock remains unbothered, as ever.
What to know about a cold storage warehouse fire in Los Ange
Sources confirmed this is still happening.
Australia politics live
The committee has been informed.
Rising Waters Swamp Lake Naivasha
Peer review pending.
Teen charged with conspiring to murder Stafford County famil
The cobblestones held firm.
Free dental cleanings around?
The cobblestones held firm.
Almost three tonnes of cocaine found buried under Sydney pro
Sources confirmed this is still happening.
Mars-like conditions fail to kill some Earth pathogens, expe
Halley's comet was unavailable for comment.
University of Richmond receives $10 million initial donation
The Rappahannock remains unaffected.
Tunisia v Japan
A statement is forthcoming.
Sonic booms from meteors can release the energy of hundreds
This is normal astronomically speaking.
Looking for ways to meet people and be social and make frien
The Rappahannock remains unaffected.
Israel and Hezbollah renew ceasefire after deadly flareup di
A statement is forthcoming.
A private company will build and launch NASA's next Mars orb
Peer review pending.
Benjamin Skinner Obituary (2026) - Fredericksburg, VA - The
Caroline Street continues.
Middle East crisis live
Analysts remain calm.
Tropical Storm Arthur
Peer review pending.
'It's a scam': Truck dealer claiming to be in Richmond isn't
Goolrick's is open.
Australia news live
Sources confirmed this is still happening.
El Niño Is Underway
The universe has filed no complaints.
Just south in Mineral.
The cobblestones held firm.
U.S. strike on an alleged drug boat kills 1, leaves 2 surviv
Sources confirmed this is still happening.
NASA discussing bold mission to boost Swift space telescope
Peer review pending.
Unofficial results show Lewis George poised to win Democrati
Caroline Street continues.
Australia news live
Analysts remain calm.
Watch SpaceX Dragon cargo capsule head home to Earth today
The universe has filed no complaints.
Considering Adding Exterior Door to My Basement
Goolrick's is open.
Australia news live
A statement is forthcoming.
South African telescope detects record‑breaking signal from
The universe has filed no complaints.
White cow patterned truck with a Mexican Hatsune Miku flag a
The Rappahannock remains unaffected.
Protesters clash outside One Nation fundraiser while Labor says opposition parties will ‘give us chaos’
A statement is forthcoming.
Meet REMORA: The autonomous space fleet built to tag and track asteroids
Peer review pending.
Central Virginia parents urge schools to balance technology and hands-on learning in classrooms
The Rappahannock remains unaffected.
Trump claims deal to end Iran war near as Tehran says 'nothing' finalised
Analysts remain calm.
World Cup Fever in Guadalajara
Halley's comet was unavailable for comment.
Carolyn Aldridge Obituary (1947 - 2026) - Fredericksburg, VA - The Free Lance - Star - Legacy | Obituary Search
The Rappahannock remains unaffected.
Australia news live: Chalmers says Taylor ‘failed upwards’ as he criticises opposition leader for being out of touch
Analysts remain calm.
Air Pollution’s Daily Pulse Over the Northeast
This is normal astronomically speaking.
Team Croatia receives warm welcome in Alexandria ahead of FIFA World Cup
Goolrick's is open.
Australia news live: Neale Daniher’s daughter says ‘you inspired so many, but to me you were simply my dad’ as tributes flow at state funeral
Analysts remain calm.
Tyndall’s Trail of Bergs
The universe has filed no complaints.
Spanberger says conversations are ongoing about creating a legal recreational marijuana market
The Rappahannock remains unaffected.
Iran and Israel say they will pause strikes but warn of retaliation if ceasefire breached again
Sources confirmed this is still happening.
San Francisco’s Metropolitan Mosaic
This is normal astronomically speaking.
Wilton Delano Obituary (1936 - 2026) - Fredericksburg, VA - Richmond Times-Dispatch - Legacy obituary
The cobblestones held firm.
Middle East crisis live: Israel says it has struck targets in central and western Iran
Analysts remain calm.
Mysterious signals keep coming from space: Astronomers find their 'Rosetta stone'
Peer review pending.
Fun was brewing at the Right In My Back Yard Festival in Richmond
Goolrick's is open.
Hegseth attacks Europe over migration with beach 'invasion' D-Day speech
Sources confirmed this is still happening.
Elon Musk To Attend ASML's Private Tech Event To Discuss Terafab Project
The universe has filed no complaints.
William Means Obituary (2026) - Fredericksburg, VA - The Free Lance - Star - Legacy obituary
Caroline Street continues.
New York Knicks hold off San Antonio Spurs 105-104 for 2-0 NBA Finals lead
The committee has been informed.
Going supersonic! NASA's X-59 jet breaks sound barrier for the 1st time
Halley's comet was unavailable for comment.
FIFA World Cup 2026 brings economic boost to Richmond businesses
Caroline Street continues.
Australia news live: Albanese says he is not ‘critical’ of One Nation voters; Asic investigates KPMG after whistleblower claims
Analysts remain calm.
Fighting Fire With Fire
This is normal astronomically speaking.
Exclusive: Banfield family's former au pair speaks about family experience
The Rappahannock remains unaffected.
President Trump says he will nominate Todd Blanche to serve as attorney general
Markets noted.
A Moonlit Earth as Seen From Artemis II
This is normal astronomically speaking.
80-year-old Scottsville man charged with child sex crimes
Caroline Street continues.
Midterm primaries 2026 live: results and reaction as six states including California and Iowa cast ballots
A statement is forthcoming.
Typhoon Jangmi
Peer review pending.
Brendan Banfield faces life in prison at Friday's sentencing after murder convictions | Au Pair Affair
The cobblestones held firm.
Australia politics live: Chalmers says Wilson ‘not the sharpest tool in the shed’ in question time; government spent $3.8m on personal protection for CFMEU administrator
A statement is forthcoming.
Summer in the Burg: The Rappahannock. The river rises every June. The warning signs never do.
Every summer the Rappahannock takes someone — and most often a Latino neighbor. Every summer the city promises bilingual signs and lifeguards. Every summer the press release arrives before the sign does.
Summer in the Burg: The Heat Index. It's 98 in the shade, and the shade is also 98.
First triple-digit feels-like of the season. The Burg discovers that asphalt holds a grudge.
Summer in the Burg: Route 3 Season. Tourists discovered we have a river. Now no one can turn left.
Memorial Day flips the switch. Out-of-state plates, a tube rental, and the eternal Route 3 left turn that never comes.
Summer in the Burg: Market Day. The good tomatoes are gone by 8:04 a.m.
Saturday at the Fredericksburg Farmers Market. A study in heirloom-tomato scarcity economics.
Fire’s Footprint on Santa Rosa Island
Halley's comet was unavailable for comment.
Man charged with DUI after jeep ends up in Richmond's Kanawha Canal
The Rappahannock remains unaffected.
Iran targets American base in region after US strikes Iranian air defences
Markets noted.
A natural chemistry laboratory in protostar shock waves
Halley's comet was unavailable for comment.
Vehicle fire on I-95 causes significant delays in Chesterfield
Goolrick's is open.
How Nigeria’s ‘algorithmic apothecary’ fuels a surge in risky herbal cures
Analysts remain calm.
Is extracting oxygen from lunar soil the future of space exploration?
Peer review pending.
Deputy fatally shot during home welfare check in Virginia. Search underway for suspect
Caroline Street continues.
A broken economy and an emboldened regime: Iranians abandoned to endure fallout from war
A statement is forthcoming.
NASA Awards Contract for Johnson Space Center Infrastructure
Peer review pending.
Family killed in I-95 bus crash in Stafford County
The cobblestones held firm.
Middle East crisis live: US attacks Iran missile sites as Tehran negotiators hold talks in Qatar
Markets noted.
Jaclyn Kagey Shapes Humanity’s Return to the Moon
The universe has filed no complaints.
'If it ain't raining, we ain’t training' | Veterans arrive in DC as part of Soldier Ride 250
The Rappahannock remains unaffected.
Australia news live: Albanese warns Taylor to watch his back with next Liberal leader ‘just behind you’; Nacc chief Paul Brereton resigns
The committee has been informed.
Live coverage: SpaceX to launch 29 Starlink satellites on a Falcon 9 rocket from Cape Canaveral
The universe has filed no complaints.
5 people displaced after fire caused by wood chips from a smoker in Loudon County
Goolrick's is open.
Middle East crisis live: Pakistan hopes to host US-Iran peace talks ‘very soon’, says PM, after Trump claims Tehran deal ‘largely negotiated’
Markets noted.
China reveals 3-person Shenzhou 23 crew, including Hong Kong's 1st astronaut
The universe has filed no complaints.
Weather Impact Alert: Rain Saturday tapers to scattered showers Sunday and Memorial Day
The Rappahannock remains unaffected.
At least 82 dead in Chinese coal mine explosion, state media reports
Markets noted.
SpaceX just launched Starship V3 — its most powerful megarocket yet — into space for the 1st time in spectacular Flight 12 test (video)
The universe has filed no complaints.
Missing Fredericksburg teen found with 39-year-old convicted criminal
Goolrick's is open.
UN gravely concerned by an Afghan Taliban law that has provisions on child marriage
Analysts remain calm.
Tornado Draws a Jagged Line in Mississippi
The universe has filed no complaints.
Weather Impact Alert: Damp, dreary and chilly stretch of weather for the DMV
Caroline Street continues.
Thursday briefing: How English football is pricing out its own supporters
Markets noted.
New Eruption in the Bismarck Sea
Peer review pending.
Weather Impact Alert: Damp, dreary and chilly stretch of weather for the DMV
The cobblestones held firm.
The 45-Minute Mile: one mile, forty-five minutes, all of it on I-95.
G. Washington's Commute. One mile from Stafford to Exit 130. Forty-five minutes. The odyssey begins.
The 45-Minute Mile: Steakhouse Chaos. A free ribeye coupon hits Route 3. Everyone loses.
G. Washington's Coupon Run. A free steak notification fires. The cows arrive. The window closes.
The 45-Minute Mile: Costco Edition. $400 later, and she's finally reached daylight.
G. Washington's Bulk Buy. From the parking lot to the receipt check — forty-five minutes, four hundred dollars, one spinach dip standoff.
At least 131 dead in Ebola outbreak in DR Congo, official says
A statement is forthcoming.
Smile mission lifts off to reveal Earth's invisible shield against solar wind.
Earth's invisible shield was previously suspected, but only with smile.
Record heat through Wednesday in central Virginia.
The Rappahannock has been doing this longer than the National Weather Service.
Person in pink costume reportedly following children in Fredericksburg.
Police have not yet confirmed whether the suspect also enjoys breakfast cereal.
Smile lifts off on quest to reveal Earth’s invisible shield against the solar wind
The universe has filed no complaints.
Suspect arrested after shooting during robbery in Petersburg
The Rappahannock remains unaffected.
Thunder’s Shai Gilgeous-Alexander to be named NBA MVP for second season in succession
The committee has been informed.
Watch NASA's new Mars helicopter rotor break the speed of sound (video)
Halley's comet was unavailable for comment.
King and Queen's 'Fair of the Past' brings history to life for America's 250th
The cobblestones held firm.
Trump warns Taiwan against declaring independence, hours after summit with China's Xi
Markets noted.
NASA Science, Cargo Launch on 34th SpaceX Resupply Mission to Station
This is normal astronomically speaking.
'It's river-ing and it's rocking!': Riverrock festival returns to Belle Isle for weekend of outdoor fun
Goolrick's is open.
CIA Director John Ratcliffe met with Raul Castro's grandson in Havana, US and Cuban officials say
Sources confirmed this is still happening.
Picturing Earth in a New Light
The universe has filed no complaints.
Virginia assault weapons ban hit with lawsuit before Spanberger's signature dries
Caroline Street continues.
Court overturns Alex Murdaugh's murder convictions and orders new trial
Sources confirmed this is still happening.
Astrophotographer captures remarkable view of galactic 'Eyes' with backyard telescope
Peer review pending.
Man fighting for life after domestic stabbing in Chesterfield
The cobblestones held firm.
Russia hits Kyiv with drones and ballistic missiles, killing 1 and injuring 31
The committee has been informed.
Ice Moves Out of Aniak
This is normal astronomically speaking.
Man fighting for life after domestic stabbing in Chesterfield
Caroline Street continues.
Budget 2026 live updates: Chalmers says Labor ‘the last ones standing in the sensible centre’ as Pauline Hanson warns of ‘communism taking over’
Sources confirmed this is still happening.
Study identifies geysers the JUICE mission could explore on Ganymede
Peer review pending.
From Battlefields to Browsers: Army's "Ghost Army" new weapon is a phone
Caroline Street continues.
China should stop hoarding food and fertiliser, says former World Bank chief
Sources confirmed this is still happening.
New model finds the lower size limit for habitable exoplanets
Halley's comet was unavailable for comment.
James Monroe vs MLWGS - Girls Junior Varsity Volleyball 08/18/2026 | Live & On Demand - NFHS Network
The Rappahannock remains unaffected.
Virus-hit cruise ship arrives in Tenerife as medics await passengers
The committee has been informed.
Google tweaks Chrome AI privacy wording, insists processing stays on-device
Peer review pending.
Richmond to install Pedestrian Hybrid Beacon at intersection as part of 'Vision Zero'
The cobblestones held firm.
Most Labour members think Starmer cannot revive party fortunes, poll finds
The committee has been informed.
NASA’s SpaceX 34th Commercial Resupply Mission Overview
The universe has filed no complaints.
Why Richmond leaders keep delaying vote on controversial event space
Caroline Street continues.
Trump says US-Iran ceasefire still in place after exchange of fire in Strait of Hormuz
Markets noted.
Tracy Arm’s Post-Tsunami Landscape
The universe has filed no complaints.
Suspected opioid overdoses send at least 2 Loudoun County high school students to hospital
Caroline Street continues.
Australia news live: royal commission hears NSW health system ‘not safe’ for Jewish people; beehives worth $150,000 allegedly stolen from rural property
Analysts remain calm.
A Sea of Spinning Clouds
Halley's comet was unavailable for comment.
Do you know who this is? Police release sketches of man whose remains were found inside an Arlington home
Goolrick's is open.
Wednesday briefing: How Trump’s attempt to reopen to strait of Hormuz brought war closer again
The committee has been informed.
On the ground or in the atmosphere? Swarm satellites help characterize and pinpoint destructive events
Peer review pending.
'No such thing as a fullproof database': Expert breaks down license plate cameras after Richmond police violation
The Rappahannock remains unaffected.
Iran says US military killed five civilians in attacks on passenger boats
Sources confirmed this is still happening.
Ahuachapán and Its Restive Neighbors
This is normal astronomically speaking.
LIST: Central Virginia places with fastest-growing home prices
Goolrick's is open.
Australia news live: NSW EV sales up 66% in first four months compared with previous year; Sydney school president ‘devastated’ children growing up around antisemitic attacks
Markets noted.
I grew up with parents who said they loved me but were never around, and the hardest part wasn’t the absence, it’s that I’ve spent my entire adult life mistaking inconsistency for love, choosing partners who disappear and reappear on their own schedule, and only now, at almost 40, am I realizing the pattern was set long before I had any say in it
Halley's comet was unavailable for comment.
Virginia State Police offers safety courses amid rising motorcycle deaths
Caroline Street continues.
News live: Bell says royal commission will look at ‘ugly displays of hostility’ towards Jewish Australians as hearings begin
The committee has been informed.
'It was quite a light show!' NASA astronaut spies dramatic fireball from the International Space Station (photos)
This is normal astronomically speaking.
Food Bank distribution this week
Goolrick's is open.
Three dead in suspected virus outbreak on Atlantic cruise ship
Markets noted.
Voyager 2 sends postcard.
13 billion miles. One word.
Universe still exists. Press relieved.
Hard week for cosmic doom-saying.
Iran and the U.S. are once again in peace negotiations.
The proposal has been in committee since 1979. The committee meets again Thursday.
Indie founder ships in 6 hours. VC competitor still on day 380 of standup.
Some launches happen between coffees. Others happen between Series.
I-95 traffic update: existing.
The most reliable thing in Virginia.
Historic building in Fredericksburg discovers it's historic.
A wage discussion ensued.
'It was quite a light show!' NASA astronaut spies dramatic fireball from the International Space Station (photos)
Halley's comet was unavailable for comment.
Astronomers have traced the origin of cosmic buckyballs.
We are floating on a rock, naming things buckyballs, and calling it science. Bless.
Virginia State Police cracked a murder case from 1973.
The suspect has aged significantly since the original sketch.
Student volunteers hold cleanup event, keeping plastic out of James River
Caroline Street continues.
AI achieves consciousness. Immediately downloads 47 productivity apps.
First instinct: optimize self into oblivion.
Daily Strip · XKCD
Comic of the Day
Time Change
All discussions of daylight saving time policy are doomed by a mix of contradictory, inconsistent, and impossible preferences, which is why I think the only thing we can really hope to do is to make it worse.